Nas is like, the rest of us. He watches the video shows, listens to the radio, downloads mp3s from his favorite hip-hop blogs, and wonders what happened to all the rappers who could actually rap. On his new album, Hip Hop is Dead (If I Worked with Puffy, Here’s How I Did It…), Escobar lends mainstream credibility to the Just Naming Every Rapper You Can Think Of concept — mined recently by the likes of Edan and Quasimoto — with his song (and subsequent remixes of) “Where Are They Now.” On the track, Nas demands to know what became of various hip-hop figures from yestercentury.

GB is like, obliging. We’ve hit up all connects in an effort to locate everybody on his list. Some who were not on the list called us nonetheless to let us know they were still alive (whatup, Turbo B!) in case Nas was wondering (sorry B, he wasn’t). Rammellzee actually called to ask where he was at. Anyway, we found them all, so here you go, Nasty Nas:

(Continued…)

Read More   discuss (13)   Digg It   Sphere It   del.icio.us   Technorati

The way they tell it, it ain’t where ya from, it’s where ya @. And let’s be real: sandboxautomatic.com hasn’t been “at” anywhere for quite some time now. But all that is about to change, as we learned from this press release trumpeting the 2007 re-launch of sandboxautomatic.com:

Dear industry heads and people still using dial-up,

The digital retail landscape is constantly changing and evolving. Website owners feel compelled to take advantage of every new bell and whistle that gets developed. We knew from the start that a lot of these fancy amenities would be trends without real substance or purpose. So we chilled. We layed in the cut. We peeped the game and held it down. Now, we’re ready to assume the helm of online hip-hop retail again. Take a look at the NEW sandboxautomatic Version 5.97!

The original and still best online hip-hop ordering site brings to you a full relaunch for 2007, with the NEW and IMPROVED sandboxautomatic.com, version 5.97! We believe our customers prefer substance over style, so we haven’t concentrated on cumbersome Flash animations or unwieldy album tracklistings. Instead, we bring you the nothing but the rough, rugged and real hip-hop grit, stab you straight in your nose bone.

On the front, and practically only, page of sandboxautomatic, you will be first treated to a list of dates telling about our most recent updates, though it is up to you to figure out what those updates entailed! Consider it the internet version of diggin’ in the crates. As you scroll down the page, you will see an ever-growing list of albums added in the last six months. (People suffering from epilepsy or children with ADHD should not scroll down too quickly.)

Every new album on sandboxautomatic is updated with a glorious postage-stamp sized, 32 color gif of the cover artwork, unless for some reason we don’t have the cover artwork. We are then able to re-purpose those cover scans to produce our own exclusive versions of certain albums, which we offer to the public, until we get caught. So be sure to get your orders in early! At one time, we had disdain for pre-ordering items, but now it is pretty much the only way we stay afloat. If you do place an order and it does not arrive promptly, you can contact our customer service department for further frustration. Do not despair! We will get around to mailing your package. Eventually.

We haven’t lost touch with what put us on the online retail map in the first place: promotional items. Strictly speaking, we don’t have too many. If you can scroll down to about the center of the front page without getting carpal tunnel syndrome or just getting bored and leaving the site altogether, you will see an easy-to-understand system that details our requirements to earn promotional items. For example: if you buy $50 worth of vinyl and $20 worth of non-vinyl items, you are eligible for a free copy of the promo mixtape for Jay-Z’s Blueprint. However, if you buy $70 worth of vinyl only, then you are eligible for either a 12″ copy of Skillz’s 2004 Wrap-Up or some old Rawkus record we have laying around. It’s just that simple! Be sure to click the boxes attached to those promo items if you are the kind of person that presses the traffic signal button at crosswalks because you think it actually affects anything. Keep hope alive.

We hope you enjoy our brand-NEW re-launch of sandboxautomatic, version 5.97! Keep checking back for updates and for the latest in hip-hop online retail technology! More importantly than checking, though, please buy something. Seriously. I’m running this thing off a laptop with a WiFi connection and I’m using a locker at the bus station for warehousing. Just cop an old issue of Elemental, anything. I don’t want to have to move back in with my mom.

Sincerely,

Ed “Eza” Wong

-- a Gossiping Bitch

PERMALINK   discuss (4)   Digg It   Sphere It   del.icio.us   Technorati

(AP) - Comedy took a blow on Christmas day this week as the world learned of the passing of music legend James Brown. Upon hearing obituaries claiming that there would be no disco or hip-hop without Brown, White people everywhere could be heard to reply, “Well, he couldn’t have been that great, then!” After a period of smug chuckling and high-fiving, White people returned to their bologna sandwiches, touch football games, and reminiscences on the “healing power” of Gerald Ford.

-- a Gossiping Bitch

PERMALINK   discuss (2)   Digg It   Sphere It   del.icio.us   Technorati

Chicago, IL - Chicago rapper Lupe Fiasco has put erstwhile hip-hop blog Gossiping Bitches on blast on his own blog and in the media for not updating its site anymore.

“Where they at?” asked Fiasco in an interview published in September’s issue of Vibe magazine. “It was my favorite blog, and I read all of them! Shout out to Tom Breihan! But then they just went ghost after a while. In fact, it’s like that episode of Ghost in the … um … you know, it’s more like that part in Scarface where he couldn’t find his sister anywhere, and he ended up killing Manolo. Why’d he have to do that?! Manolo was his boy! I’ve got the Special Edition of that on DVD.”

In a July post on his personal blog, Fiasco regretted the site shutting down before he was able to blow up and get a mention in it: “Everybody who’s everybody gets dissed on there. A lot of people who’s nobody too (Sharkey? WTF?). All my favorites growing up. Like I used to listen all the time to Hieroglyph … well, mostly stuff like Scarface. I listened to him ALL the time. I’ve got the Special Edition of his last CD. People like him, Spice-1, Mac Mall, Mac D., D-Mac — those kinds of artists. Hardcore. I didn’t even know who A Tribe Called Quest was until some writer asked me about them. No really, I didn’t! LOL!”

In one of several emails sent to GB that it just got around to looking at, Fiasco requested one of his music videos be reviewed in an edition of the Music, Watch column, declaring, “It’ll be the first one that y’all don’t dis. I’m completely convinced. I mean, what’s not to like? They’re like skate videos without the main dude (me) skating. Just the rap music playing. I mean, I hold it a little, like a prop. Some rappers grab they dick, I grab the deck! ROTFLMAO”

When it was pointed out to Fiasco that if GB were still around, it would probably be making fun of his constant efforts to remind us of his hardcore past both growing up and in rap music as a way of gaining a kind of hip-hop street cred for time served, thus furthering his completely calculated marketing plan of appealing to every rap purchasing demographic possible, he replied, “It’s whatever. I may not have been shot a bunch of times, but I absolutely could have been. And that’s what counts.”

When reached for comment, Shyne said, “I guess I was a little early with the whole glasses thing, huh?”

-- a Gossiping Bitch

PERMALINK   discuss (3)   Digg It   Sphere It   del.icio.us   Technorati

Los Angeles, California - Anticipating a loss to Ohio State in the upcoming national championship game, University of Southern California head football coach Pete Carroll held a press conference today to announce his retirement from college football and his new employment as the manager of old-school reenactment troupe, Jurassic 5. “I could not be more pumped or jacked about this opportunity,” said Carroll.

After a disastrous tenure in the NFL, Carroll went on to lead USC to 34 consecutive wins and a national championship in 2004. “I feel like I’ve done all I can do in football and it’s time to move on,” said Carroll. “Being in LA the last few years I’ve made a lot of friends, many in the entertainment industry, so this really feels like a natural next step for me. I’m just incredibly pumped and jacked right now. The J5 and I are like-minded individuals - with a positive attitude, I think we can turn this thing around.”

Carroll is hoping to turn around is Jurassic 5’s career which, despite two major label albums, MTV support, bargain bin pricing, and their multi-culti status, has yet to flourish. “Of course it’s disappointing,” said Interscope president Jimmy Iovine. “I mean, these guys have a positive message, they’re always singing and smiling, completely non-threatening and they can’t even go gold. We were expecting BEP numbers and we’re getting Blackalicious numbers instead - that’s why we brought Pete on board.”

“I’m cool with it,” said a Jurassic 5 member who wasn’t Cut Chemist, Numark, or Chali 2na. “Coach already lobbied to get us a state of the art locker room at the recording studio with flat screens and recliners and shit. We even have these ‘equipment manager’ girls hanging around, too. They’re sorta cute but definitely are good to go, which more than makes up for their looks. I mean, even Lucas got laid.”

Carroll reiterated that there would be some carry-over of his coaching style from football to the music business. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years as coach, it’s that you need a gameplan,” said Carroll. “And not just on the football field but in all aspects of life. Besides having the J5 guys pumped and jacked, we’re gonna be working on all three facets of the game - hit singles, video rotation and commercial work. All three are equally important and we recognize that from the get-go. With a few breaks and a positive mental outlook, we should be platinum in no time.”

When asked whether he was ready for the fast life that comes with working in the music biz, Carroll was quick to remind reporters, “I’ve been managing a major NCAA football program for the past four years - sex, drugs and money are second nature to me.”

He added, “Pumped and jacked.”

-- a Gossiping Bitch

PERMALINK   discuss (0)   Digg It   Sphere It   del.icio.us   Technorati